Love, Life and Coffee

Changes

2010-04-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

It has been a year since graduation. So many things have transpired since i left the bubble of Indiana Wesleyan University. I left with dreams of making a difference and doing work in the field of social work. In the process i lost those dreams as well as all hope and joy. I lost who i was and what was important to me. I abandoned my faith for things that I thought would satisfy me and bring me fulfillment. They only brought me heartache and hopelessness. It has only been in the past month and a half that there has been this stirring in me that there is more out there and there is someone greater that has a plan for my life. I am where i am for a reason and that he has a purpose for my life. I can do social work anywhere. Everyday I have the chance to bring hope and joy to the people that I come into contact with. Every week I work with the elderly population and can show them that they still have value and worth no matter what the age. I can show them that they are still loved. I may not be at my dream job but i am thankful for a job. It was last Sunday while i was sitting in church that God just broke me. He told me he wants to use me where i am and that i need to stop complaining about my situation and the job that i have. I can still use my talents and abilities where i am. I need to share and i need to start volunteering.

I love this quote and it is going on my mirror in my bathroom so every morning it is one of the first things I see

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it." Mother Teresa

Letting Go

2009-08-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

"No matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse."

Full of Questions

2009-07-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

This week has been a very tough week! I recently found out that I was not hired for two different jobs that I had interviewed for. The days have been filled with many tears and times of asking the question why? I feel very confused and lost. I have no idea where to go from here.

Music

2009-06-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

I sit here at home and there has never been more of a time that I have wanted to go out and get drunk and try to forget for a night everything that is going on and what has happened to me. There are things that I need to let go of and it is a battle. Then i started listening to some music and this song came up in my playlist. It is amazing how music is used and the lyrics speak for me. It is a cry to God!

I was tired of waiting
Playing all the games and
Living in a place that was not for me
So I thought it was time
For me to get what's mine
And to do it all, everything I dreamed
What I thought was the best for me turned to be
All the worst I could find

If I run to you
Will you hold me in your arms forevermore
If I run to you
Will you hold me in your arms forevermore

Now I got a feeling
That I've got to leave and
Find a way back to where I came from
Though I don't deserve it
I know it's unheard but
Living here without you, my life is done
I confess that I shouldn't have run from you
Now I know I was wrong

Nowhere to run to
And no one to turn to
I'm dying out here on my own
Long before I even thought of returning
Your arms are wide open
Waiting for me to come home

Unexpected Blessings

2009-05-28T20:01:00.001-07:00

If you would have asked me a year ago where i would be today; this would not have been what i would have described. I had a very different idea of what i would be doing. I thought I would have a full time social work job with an apartment and in a relationship with the man that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Life had other ideas of what would transpire over the past year. These past few months have been months from hell. There have been struggles and pain that have occured in my life this past year that I never would have anticipated 12 months ago. A year ago i was looking forward to my senior year with high expectations of life, love and joy. Somewhere that was all lost and now i sitting down trying to learn how to breathe again and crying out to a God that I abandoned along the way.

The way i planned life is not how it turned out but in the midst of it all, there have been some unexpected blessings. I didn't think that I would still be working for a catering company but here i am and what a blessing they have been to me. My boss is giving me all the hours she can and for that i am grateful. I have been given the opportunity to spend my time volunteering. I know that things will fall into place and it is through the trials and struggles that I grow the most. I love this song by India Arie and I am trying to take on this attitude

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now.
Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed.
Start making a mental list in my head.
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got something to prove
Remind yourself that there’s only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

A Good Laugh!!!

2009-05-17T18:49:00.001-07:00

Life

2009-05-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am officially a college graduate! This past year has been one to remember! Here are some pictures from the last semester of my undergrad career.

Uncertainty

2009-04-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

"I want to live life to the fullest. But no matter how strongly i once believed, I am no longer sure about God or the reason for praying or the need for Bible study. Truth seems like something gray without lines or definition and I can no longer clearly state what I believe and what I don't believe."

Things are changing and it scares me. I have no idea where my future is going. I am leaving what is safe in less than a month and for the first time in my life I don't have a plan. I have no idea where or what I am doing and that terrifies me.

Reflections of Senior Year!

2008-12-04T19:19:00.000-08:00

I had my last class for the semester and went to my last chapel for my college career. It made me think back on this past semester. It was a semester filled with ups and downs. As I reflect back here are some highlights
* Had the opportunity to be at a Notre Dame game where they won
* Went to see NeedtoBreathe, Andy Davis, Jon Mclaughlin
* All the memeories with the girls in apartment B, where to begin? There are so many

Here are some of the pictures from the semester

Relationships

2008-11-08T15:27:00.000-08:00

"And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
-The Holiday-

I just wish this wasn't so true with my life.

Beauty from Pain

2008-11-04T16:15:00.000-08:00

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When like before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
and see how you've brought beauty from ashes
and made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
and there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain.

Beauty from Pain by Superchicks.

Exciting

2008-10-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

So it is amazing how songs can express exactly what you want to say and how you feel. This is an amaing new song from nickelback. I am so excited that they have a new record coming out.

Vulnerable, full of questions and doubt

2008-10-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Still waters, heavy hearts. Plans I make all fall apart. Disillusioned and lost in the gray. How can I fix the heart when it breaks? Don't know how much more I can take. Just give it time.It's gonna get better. Now is not forever at all. Just give it time. Everything changes. Tomorrow comes today will be gone. Everything's gonna be alright. Just give it time, give it time. Quiet landslide when nobody knows. Regretted decisions that nobody chose. Under water and sinking fast. No way out, no way to get back. What might have been is lost in the past. When the world I'm in is still again
And it all fades out. I've reached the end, begin again now. Everything's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright. Just give it time.

They say that time heals all wounds, but when you are going through those hard times it is hard to cling to that. It is hard when you cry out to God and all you hear is silence. I don't understand why God allows things to happen. I don't understand why my mom has cancer, why relationships fail, why rejection hurts so bad, why a man would think it would be ok to rape one of my friends or why a little girl is taken from her mother who loves her more than life or why a mother dies at such a young age leaving behind two kids and a husband. Silence can be deafening.

In the midst of the brokenness, I know that God has a plan and all i can see are the small pieces of a large puzzle. This verse makes me angry at God but at the same time it is reassuring. Deep down I know that he is control. He has our best interests in mind. And so I will take each day one at a time. I will learn to laugh again, I will learn to love myself again. I will learn to lean on my heavenly father. I will look in the mirror and see myself through God's eyes. I have a father who loves me the way I am and I am good enough for him.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

AMAZING

2008-09-26T11:44:00.001-07:00

Amazing that is all i can say!

2008-09-06T21:12:00.001-07:00

I love this man!

Excited

2008-08-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

I went to a meeting on Sunday night where I got to see the church becoming the church and it excites me. I see leaders and ordinary people joining together to do what God has called us all along to do and that is to help those in need financially, physically and spiritually.

"But we live in a world that has lost its appreciation for small things. We live in a world that wants things bigger and bigger. We want to supersize our fries, sodas and church buildings. But amid all the supersizing, many of us feel God is doing something new, something small and subtle. This thing Jesus called the kingdom of God is emerging across the globe in the most unexpected places, a gentle wisper amid the chaos. Little people with big dreams are reimaging the world. Little movements of communities of ordinary radicals are committed to doing small things with great love."

Whatever you are doing

2008-08-05T15:41:00.000-07:00

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Setting Sail

2008-06-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

"It seems stupid to fight God. Yet I do it more often than I care to admit. God nudges me to pray more, give more, help more, be more. These are all things that I strongly believe in but I find reasons not to do them- good, respectable, solid reasons. I want to walk the edges and borders that put me face-to-face with God but my feet tend to keep the well-trod path of everyday life. I rarely move into uncharted territory unless it is well though out, so as to minimize the risks yet to move beyond the middle, away from the broad road, starts with a willingess to step out of the status quo, to risk, to stretch, to be uncomfortable. Daily I struggle to let go of all that is safe, comfortable and reasonable. At times this seems risky and challenging. Yet it is only at the edge that I can drink from the water of life and fall into the hands of God. In Spain, after Columbus discovered the new world coins were created bearing the Latin slogan, Plus Ultra which means "more beyond". All I need to do is sail forward wit the excitement and anticipation that there is truly more beyond."

I was listening to a song while I was out on my run and it reminded me this idea that I need to start living and setting sail. I need to stop worrying what other people think and how they view me but I need to starty worrying what God thinks of me. Here is my anthem for this summer.

Caught in the half-light, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tied up, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life

2008-06-20T18:37:00.001-07:00

Here is a video that one of the girls from the team made which shows our trip to cambodia. She did an amazing job. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Home Again

2008-05-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

I am back from Cambodia! How i miss that place! I love the people and I love the culture! I want to go back! There are so many things that I want to talk about so I am sure that there will be many posts to come with numerous pictures. God is alive and at work in this amazing country. But on a lighter note I have a poem that I would like to share.

All This and More in Cambodia
by: Jewel Reed
I don’t understand how Vandy is a man.
Or how 23 people could fit in one van.
Why did our Kratie hotel toilet throw poop
and why did the American people say they were a Singapore group?
Why is there mold on Melanie’s toothbrush
and why does our toilet never flush?
Why do Karen and Jewel laugh at everything?
Seriously, do we really have to sing?
You have never lived until you have seen Arun make pb and jelly.
You have never lived until youhave been to the market so smelly.
I cannot believe that I ate a whole frog,
or that Tiffany almost hit a van in a huge traffic clog.
Does Whitney’s dad really work for a print shop?
Shouldn’t all moto drivers know the word ’stop?’
Have you ever heard ”Everything but the kitchen sink?”
Did you know that Titos likes pink?
Have you ever sang a song with Song?
Have you ever been stuck in mud for two hours long?
Why does Som On laugh like a goat
and why did we go on a dolphin cruise in a janky little boat?
Can you believe that Juns in the mafia with Whitney’s dad
and why does Pholla speak English so bad?
I am so glad no one saw me slip on the stair,
but I am more glad that everyone saw Melanie break a chair.
Why does Noel not like children and games?
How do you pronounce all these Khmer names?
Did you see all the Post-Its on Beth’s face?
Maybe we should try to sing Amazing Grace.
Well, Kristens a doctor, won’t she know what to do?
There’s a really big bug, do you have a big shoe?
Why did Pastor Jun give his daughter a bird black and blue?
It died in our van and I think we all might have bird flu.
She had it on a string, swung it around her head.
No one is surprised that Jairah’s diseased bird is dead.
Did you hear that Tim wore a little grass skirt?
Did I tell you that our bus driver is a little flirt?
Have you seen Vandy sit in the fridge at night?
Have you seen Chamnol dance on the bed? It’s quite a sight.
Last night there was a gecko on Karen and EVERYONE heard Jewel scream.
For breakfast every morn, the Khmer have rice and the team - iced coffee with cream

Cambodia

2008-04-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

So this is where I will be spending a month of my life! I can't believe that one of my dreams has come true. I have always wanted to visit cambodia. I am starting to pack and it is all hitting me. In three days I will be walking the streets of Phenom Pen. Wow! God sure is amazing! Please pray that God will do a work in and through the team. Pray for strength; spirituall, physical and emotional. May we be salt and light to a country that is hurting and searching for truth. May we be effective communicatiors.

Senior

2008-04-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am officially a senior in college with my first apartment! I can't believe it. One more year and then real life begins. There is excitement, anticipation yet a little apprehension.

Something to Ponder

2008-04-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

We stand in awe of the ocean,
the thunderstorm
the sunset
the mountains
but we pass by
a human being
without notice
even though
the person is
God's most magnificent creation

St. Augustine

Grant County Rescue Mission

2008-04-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

This is the place that I have been volunteering the past couple of months. I have come to love going to this place. I love to hear the stories of these men and what they have went through and how much they have changed.

God has asked me to consider the homeless men, women and children, to remember that each one has a different reason as to why he or she is in that situation. They may have been rejected by family, abused physically or sexually, discarded by schools and society because of learning disorders or physical impairments, laid off work, or may have made wrong choices. However, each person is someone’s daughter,son,a loved one who is lost and hurting. Most importantly, I need to realize God loves each man, woman and child and desires to have a personal relationship with them.

I have a whole new perspective on this ministry and the people that they serve. God has allowed me to see past the outside and to really get to know these people. These are his son's and daughters and he loves them with a love that is everlasting. I love the mission statement and desire of the mission. They say our challenge is to reach each one today… with tangible help and a message of hope for a better tomorrow. We can scream in their ear all day long about Christ but instead we can serve them a meal and they can see God in action in a very tangible and real way. Jesus spoke through actions.

A Call to the Church

2008-04-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

Check out this video: theiheartrevolution trailer 2

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Random Ranblings

2008-03-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

So i am sitting here at my cube in the office and I am looking around and noticing how boring it looks and that I need to add some pictures. It needs a special touch. I am also beginning to realize that my computer has to be the slowest dang computer in the office. I am writing on here and not doing my work which might not be the best idea. I am beginning to wonder what is the point to the work that I do. I have been sitting here for 4 hours pressing the route forward key! What is that doing? What meaning does that really have? They are paying me to sit at my computer and press one button for 4 continuous hours. WOW! In the process I am learning some very random facts such as the estimated income for adult students going to IWU is about 30,000. It is much less than I expected. Hmm! I am learning some very intersting names of individuals and laughing hysterically in my head because what parent would come up with some of those names. Childhood must have been traumatic.
I am beginning to realize that I could not do this for the rest of my life. I can't even see what it is like outside. I heard through the grapevine that it is raining. I will find out when I leave this place in exactly 20 min and counting.
So needless to say in the midst of my rambling is that a desk job is not my calling. It pays the bills for now but I want something more. I want to know what I am doing is really making a difference.

Must Watch

2008-02-21T09:58:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m75g_A731q0

Destiny

2008-02-19T06:32:00.000-08:00

"My destiny is to worship God."

I would always ask God what my destiny was. What was that one thing that I would always be remembered by. What significant contribution would I bring to society? I always wanted to have this great life marked by amazing stories and to be well known because of something great that I did for God. I realized though that I have it all backwards. All God asks of me is to worship him daily. My destiny is to worship God and through that he will use me. My destiny is not to become someone great but to show others how great God is. All I have to do is continually worship and honor the one that gave his all so that I could live and through that I will be living out my destiny

Christian Pick-up lines

2008-02-10T17:07:00.000-08:00

So these made me laugh! I hope you guys enjoy them:)

Christian pick-up lines
1. Nice Bible.
2. I would like to pray with you.
3. You know Jesus? Me too.
4. God told me to come talk to you.
5. I know a church where we could go and talk.
6. How about a hug, sister?
7. Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
8. Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug.
9. Oh you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11
10. Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
11. What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study?
12. I am here for you.
13. The Word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry," How about dinner?
14. You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
15. Do you want to come over and watch the Ten Commandments tonight?
16. Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
17. Would you happen to know a Christian woman (man) that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
18. Nice bracelet. What would Jesus date? I mean 'do'.
19. Do you believe in Divine appointment?
20. Have you ever tried praying at a drive-in movie before?
21. Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
22. My friend told me to come and meet you. He said that you are a really nice person. I think you know Him. Jesus, yeah, that's His name.
23. You know they say that you have never really dated until you have dated a Christian.
24. Yeah, I predicted David over Goliath

Justice

2008-01-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

"The ordinary Christian gets emotional. The deeply committed Christian gets involved." K.G. McMillan

"To be saved costs us nothing, to be a disciple costs us everything."

"see the world is a place made up of places.. and every place has a history.. and every place's history is reflected in what becomes it's culture.. and culture itself is defined through its people.. and the people; well, they are the future… and the future is now..so then - looking at it in the same light but from the other side of the room; at this moment in history, we are the people in the places.. and we are the ones defining cultures.. and we are the ones creating history.. and so the question must be asked…. If we are the future; how's it gonna look..??I don't know about you.. but if our generation is remembered for ipods, myspace, and youtube we missed it.. if history speaks of our generation as self indulgent pioneers of the digital age, reality television and purpose built celebrity we'll have failed.. the world will change by itself.. for better or for worse.. it changes daily.. but who will be the ones to shape it.. and how will it look?in and of itself revolution is neither good or bad.. revolution represents change.. a shift in culture.. History is marked by revolutions.. social and political.. some have represented victory, freedom and justice, however on the flip-side.. too many have become infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice.. all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.. for the church – the hands and feet of Jesus and His plan for the salvation of this big, broken sphere of dirt, water and life we temporarily call home, this has never sounded with more urgency.. it's time for a revolution.. fuelled by a dissatisfaction with self-centred living and complacent faith.. driven by a desire for truth, love and justice..that's what this is all about…every generation needs a revolution.. and this one needs to look, sound, walk and breathe like love..it's not a new concept.. it's an eternal concept.. it's the reason we are alive.. it's the fundemental call of what it means to be a follower of Christ..Love God.. love people.. that's it.. that's the revolution.. revolutionary I know.. but if we understand what that means.. if we get it.. if we establish in our thinking how that looks.. and we start living it.. we will change the world.. it's not so much about the big stuff.. it's just about the stuff.. it's about the people in the places being the answer - in the places.. and together; becoming the answer to the big stuff.. it's about your backyard.. it's about my backyard..The world has watered love down to slogans and t-shirts.. lollipop pop songs and popcorn munching excursions in visual indulgence... all of which are fine.. but we throw the word around.. we confuse it's definition.. we diminish our understanding of God's command.. love is the quintessential human emotion.. it is the desire of every human being to experience, and in turn express love.. and God himself IS love.. and he desires to be loved.. and who are the carriers of His spirit..?? it's us…So that's the call.. that's the mission.. that's what this is all about..A generation expressing their worship; moreso expressing their heart for worship in the action of love.. toward God.. and toward the world we live in.. and the people who inhabit it.. it's not about highlighting the darkness.. it's about becoming the light that diminishes the darkness.. it's the gospel.. and it is now..we're all in this together.."

Joel Houston

Amazing

2008-01-16T20:44:00.001-08:00

Something happened this week!

GOD SHOWED UP!

I CAN DREAM BIG AGAIN!

VISIONS AND DREAMS ARE BECOMING REALITY

I AM NOT AFRAID OR SCARED OF DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD

PURPOSE IS STIRRING INSIDE OF ME

WATCH OUT FOR GOD: HE APPEARS IN THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT HIM

THE BIBLE CAME TO LIFE

So what does it look like when God shows up? It is something that is earthshattering, knee knocking, and teeth chattering. It is beyond anything that you can imagine. It is hearing thousands of college students praising in authentic worship of their Lord and Savior. It shouting for worship to not stop. Worship that is from the heart and not for show. Authenticity is displayed through the faces of brothers and sisters in Christ. It is taking what we have learned and applying it after the mountaintop experience is over when we go back down the mountain and continue with our everyday life. It is something that leaves you in awe and breathless of who God is. It is about reconciliation with God and with others. It is all about realizing that God created each one of us and has a purpose for each one of us. It is about the realization that it is not about who we are but whose we are.

I'm In Love

2008-01-13T11:02:00.000-08:00

I'm in love. I want to shout it from the rooftops. It has been a long road. A road filled with steep hills, curves and potholes but through it I have come to appreciate life so much more and the person that has come into my life. He is someone that I have known all my life but never fully knew. I knew him from a distance. I saw how he interacted with everyone else and how he was so kind and gentle but at the same time he was firm when he needed to be. I always secretly wanted him to focus on me and to show me attention and love me. There was so many times that I wondered if it would ever happen to me. If I would ever find that someone who I could fall in love with. Someone that I wanted to tell everyone about and that I could show everyone. Because of him I love to get up in the morning and it has changed how I view life. I don't deserve him yet he makes me feel like I am so beautiful and special. He loves and respects me for who I am. He is by my side through everything:good or bad. He is caring and a great listener. He lets me vent to him and doesn't say a word till I am finished. I feel that I can tell him anything. He speaks truth into my life. He tells me things that I need to hear and not just what I want to hear. He puts up with all my strange moods that I go through. I can't put into words how I feel except that I feel loved and cherished beyond anything that I have ever felt. Who is this amazing peson. His name is Jesus. I never knew that I could know him like I do and to have the intimacy that I beginning to experience with him. He is my everything.

Broken & Confused

2007-09-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have moved back to school. I am starting to get into the groove of schoolwork and friends. This semester will be challenging and stressful but I know through God's help I will get through it. I have to be honest though that these three weeks have been hell and have been a huge struggle. I have been going through so much. I have been struggling with my relationship with God and I don't feel like myself right now. I feel as if I am in a haze and I cannot get out. Through the midst of these difficult times of doubts, insecurities, and confusion I am learning to rely on my Savior. I am learning that I don't know my God and I don't understand his Gospel of grace. I am realizing that I need a new kind of relationship with my Father. One that drives out fear and mistrust, anxiety and guilt. One that permits me to be hopeful, joyous, trusting and compassionate. I am realizing that I have to come to my savior naked and broken. I am learning that I have never laid hold of my nothingness before God. I have always developed a false sense of security from my good works and scrupulous observance of the law. But God is starting to take those walls down. I am realizing that I need to take ownership of my powerlessness and helplessness and acknowledge that I am a pauper at the door of God's mercy, then maybe God can make something beautiful out of me. I am nothing apart from Christ. I don't know how to describe really what I am going through but I am realizing more and more just how little I deserve God's love and acceptance. I am nothing apart from him. I need him more today than I ever have.

"To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to stand in need of grace"

Magnificent & Amazing

2007-08-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

This makes me tremble and stand in awe of my creator. I have no doubts that there is a God and he is the creator of the universe

"Joseph Campbell wrote of "a perception of a cosmic order, mathmatically definable." As they contemplated the order of the Earth, solar system, and the stellar universe, scientist and scholars have concluded that the Master Planner left nothing to chance.
The slant of the earth, for example, tilted at an angle of twenty-three degrees, produces our seasons. Scientist tell us that if the Earth had not been tilted exactly as it is, vapors from the oceans would move both north and south, piling vast continents of ice.
If the moon were only 50,000 miles away from earth instead of 250,000, the tides might be so enormous that all continents would be submerged in water-even the mountains would be eroded.
If the crust of the earth had been only ten feet thicker, there would be no oxygen, and without it all animal life would die.
Had the oceans been a few feet deeper, carbon dioxide and oxygen would have been absorbed and no vegetable life would exist.
The Earth's weight has been estimated at six sextillion tons(that a six with 21 zeros). Yet it is perfectly balanced and turns easily on its axis. It rotates daily at the rate of more than a thousand miles per hour or 25,000 miles each day. This adds up to nine million miles a year.Considering the tremenedous weight of six sextillion tons rolling at the fantastic speed around an invisible axis, held in place by unseen bands of gravitation.
The earth revolves in its orbit around the sun, making the long elliptical circle about a six hundred million miles each year which means we are traveling through space at nineteen miles per second or about 68,000 miles per hour.
Consider the sun. Every square yard of the sun's surface is emitting a constand energy level of 130,000 horsepower in flames that are being produced by an energy source much more powerful than coal.
The nine major planets in our solar system range in distance from the sun from 36 million to about 3,664 million miles, yet each moves around the sun in exact precision.
Still, the sun is only one minor star among the 100 billion burning orbs that comprise our Milky Way galaxy. If you were to hold out a dime at arm's length while gazing at the night sky, that coin would block out 15 million stars from your view, if your eyes could see with that power."

Lost

2007-08-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. The summer is coming to a close and I head back to school in about two weeks. I am excited for what is in store but at the same time, I am afraid that i will settle back into the same routine and will forget about all that i have learned this summer and that I will begin to be complacent in my faith. I love IWU but sometimes it feels like a bubble. I have a new job offer and i am going down early for the interview. I hope I get the job. I also have the opportunity to help out with freshman orientation.
I have been taking some time to just evaluate my life and where i am at. I have been doing some soul searching. I have also been looking at how i relate to others. I have to be honest with myself. I am lost. I have been lying to myself and to God. I don't know the person that I see when I look in the mirror. How have i let myself become this person. I look at myself and hate what I see. I have let my relationship with my savior become routine and I have lost my first love. I have learned that I am weak-willed. i am consumed with my fears. It makes me unstable and needy. I am so self-absorbed and care more about what people think of me than I want to admit. I am not really sure that God loves me just the way I am, my starving soul tries to get filling from others, and when they don't give enough, I retreat into self pity and then depression. I go to bible studies but my life really never changes because there is nothing inside for the truth to latch on to.
Here is my prayer and where I want to be. "The one thing I desire is just to know you more. To live a life that moves and breathes and loves to bring you joy, so fill me with a fire that burns away my doubts and all my fears into a place where you are all I hear. Its the one things I desire to do what you require is the one thing I desire. To love when I'd rather turn away. To give when I am more resigned to take, to reach out a hand to someone who feels alone. The way you reached for me when there seemed to be no hope. I'll live my life serving Christ, offering a sacrifice of praise."

Rollar Coasters

2007-06-26T15:43:00.000-07:00

I love rollar coasters. I love the thrill that you have when you are hanging hundreds of feet in the air. There is something about it that just draws me in. It might be the fact that I am taking a risk or the adrenaline that is inside of me. I don't know, but I love them. I stand in line for hours to go on a ride that will last a minute or two if even that long. I walk off the ride and say man that was worth it. All that waiting was worth it.
I am placing my life into the hands of a little seat belt that holds me in and prevents me from freefalling to my death. I am trusting the people that are running the rides. I am trusting that they know what they are doing and that the ride that I am about ready to go on is running ok. I can go to cedar point for the day and have the time of my life but when it comes to life, I like to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground and I don't like to let them leave the ground. It seems as if God is taking me on a rollar coaster and I am free-falling hundreds of feet. It is like the millenium force. I am in the front seat and I can't see anything as I am falling headfirst. God is saying that I need to trust him. He will not let anything happen to me and that he knows what he is doing. This past week and summer has been a rollar coaster for me. My emotions have been crazy. I start to have doubts about different things. Just like when you are going up that first hill of Millenium Force. You are saying to yourself "What was I thinking?" You are asking yourself what you got yourself into? I know that this is a testing point for me. I know that God has a plan and that I need to trust him and accept his love. There is this song that I have been playing over and over. It is called worth it all. As I go on this ride of life. I know that at the end of these trials I will say that it will be worth it.

Patience

2007-06-08T15:17:00.000-07:00

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world" 1Peter 1:6-7

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" Hebrews 13:8

"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for what all he has done. Then you will experiece God's peace. which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live In Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

This has been a tough summer. Unlike any other summer. God is taking me through the fire and testing me like I have never been tested. Things are happening that I cannot do on my own. I have to trust God that he knows what he is doing and that he has a plan. I am scared to death what the coming months and year will look like but I know that I serve a God who has it under control and that I can trust him. I pray that in the midst of harship that I will have a joy and peace that only God can give me. I know that it will all work out for the glory of him. Even in the midst of it all, God has given me so much. I want to take advantage of all that God had given me. I don't want to waste what he has blessed me with. I want to make the most of this summer, even though it has not gone as planned. I want to continue building friendships and enjoying the friends that God has placed in my life for such a time as this. I pray that we will go even deeper as friends.

Confused

2007-05-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

I prayed a scary prayer last week. It was a prayer of surrender. I gave God everything. I said that he has all of me and can use me however he wants. It scares me. For the first time in my life, i am not in control anymore. I told God that i am his, rich or poor, married or single. I belong to him. Since that time i have been more confused then ever. The job that i thought i had fell through. Right now i have no job. I don't know how i am going to earn money. The place that i have been working during the summer months in the past is not giving me hours. I don't know where God is leading me. For the first time in my life, I have no plan. I don't know what tomorrow will bring let alone this next summer and school year. God is asking me to trust him when i cannot see anything in front of me. I know he will guide and direct me. His timing is perfect. My prayer is that i will quiet myself so that I can hear his still small voice of direction. "Teach me how to live O Lord. Lead me along the right path. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently on the Lord." I don't know what this summer will bring but I do know that God is going to take me out of my comfort zone and make me uncomfortable. May I be able to discern what he wants from me for the summer and the coming school year.

2007-05-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

I went to prison today. Just thought you should all know.

I Don't Understand

2007-05-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

There are some things that I will never understand. I will share one of them. I was spending my Monday afternoon like I usually do. Spending time at First Light Child Advocacy Center. What I don't understand is how someone can intentionally abuse a child; whether it is sexually, physically or emotionally. I was playing with these two little girls and all I could think about is that they will have to go back into the interview room and tell their story. Tell a story that includes abuse. Things have happened to these girls that I cannot even begin to describe. It is not fair, right or just. I just don't understand how anyone could do this to two innocent children. Over the past two years or so there have been over 800 cases of abuse in Grant county or surrounding counties. I just can't even begin to comprehend it. To be honest. I really don't want to. It makes me so mad. When will this stop. We need to realize that these children deserve to be protected. We need to do everything we can to prevent this from happening.

One word

2007-05-08T16:35:00.002-07:00

I feel this blog is a way for me to share my journey with you, that includes my journey with Christ, friends, family, etc. I have come to one realization today. LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME. I know, I know, all of you guys know that and it should be obvious but it is taking me a long time to get the idea:) I guess I just get so caught up in what i am going through that i miss out on what is going around me and that there are more important things than what I am going through. I can be so selfish and so self-centered. God is doing so much in this world and I am missing it because I am so focused on myself. He is telling me to wake up and look around. He is teaching me that he wants to use me but until I lay myself down, my pride down, he cannot and willnot unless I get my focus on the right person and that person is Jesus Christ. I think life can be summed up in one word. That one word is SERVING!!!!! I think Jesus' ministry can be summed up in one word.. SERVING!!! When we serve we take on the likeness of Christ. We do ministry the way it is suppossed to be. Christ shows through when we realize that we must decrease so that he may increase.

How do we serve? What does serving look like? I think that it can take on many facets. It doesn't have a certain mold that it lives by. I don't have it all figured out and I may never, but I do know this. I need to get off my lazy butt and do it. No excuses. As Christians it is not only our duty but it is also our responsibility.

I think this is what can happen when we start serving
*I have a vision of IWU students catching this urge and desire to serve the city of Marion IN
*The city of Marion transformed because students took the time to invest in the city in which they reside for 8 months out of the year.
* A revival that breaks out on the campus of IWU, college students would move from religioun to Christ followers and living out the ministry of Jesus in today's society.

So now i am going to get off my soap box but my prayer is that as followers of Jesus Christ we will have this passion to serve others. It will not be done out of obligation but out of desire.

Alone

2007-05-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

I have never felt more alone than at this very time in my life. I don't feel God's presence and I feel like a misfit everywhere I go. I feel that I don't fit in at school and at home. I feel Satan attacking me and I am believing his lies. I don't know what to do. A friend of mine wrote this about 5 months ago but it totally describes it best and I could not put it any better.

"Ever feel as though you are in a world full of people, but yet you feel all alone. In a world that you don't fit in, even with your closest friends and family. A place you don't know how to communicate what you really feel. A place where you have no one to confide in because they have their world and you have yours. A place where you keep arms length distances from everyone and everything because you are afraid of getting hurt. A place where you feel as though you have battle alone. A place where you feel unloved, unaccepted, unworthy. Unworthy of the gift of life. Unworthy of the Love that God gives. Unable to accept His Love and Mercy. Struggling to get by day in and day out. Feeling as though you have failed in evey area of life"

Uncertainty

2007-05-02T17:01:00.000-07:00

I feel so inadequate and confused. I don't know what God wants me to do with my life. I feel so unqualified and scared to death to be a social worker. I feel that i am not strong enough to do that type of work. I have a job interview on Friday at a mental health facility in which I will be working in an inpatient facility with troubled kids and teens. I don't know if I am ready for this. I am really scared. I am afraid that I am going to fail. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can be a social worker. What would I do if I didn't do that. I don't have a clue. I am afraid to take risks. I don't want to do something that I will not succeed in. I don't want to fail these kids. Am I strong enough? Do I have what it takes to do this job and to make a difference in the lives of these kids. Will I blow it. Is this what God's wants me to do. I don't know.

God is Faithful

2007-04-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

It is the end of another school year. As I begin to reflect on the past year I begin to see some themes that appear. To be quite honest this has been a very hard year but I look back and I can see that I have grown through this time. A year ago today I was packing my bags moving out of Shatford with a sad but hard heart. It was during the summer months that I struggled with whether I wanted to follow Christ. I was struggling with what I believed and why I believed it. God finally gave me the choice, do i choose him or do I chose to live life my way. I didn't realize that when i chose to follow him that he would take me down a road that would be rough and long but would bring me closer to him. At the end of July, my family found out that my mom had cancer. That changed my world. I can't explain what I felt at the moment the doctor told us the news. My world was turned up-side down. I suddenly didn't know if I was even going to return to school in the fall. I moved into school in September with feelings of uncertainty and apprehension. It has been a long journey. Trials and tribulations. This year has been a time of testing and growth. God is building in me character. He is not done. I have lots more to learn. God is showing me that he is in control and that I need to trust him and his timing. He has asked me to surrender things that I was scared to give up. It meant that I was not in the drivers seat anymore but through it all God has proven that he is faithful. I desire to be a woman after God's own heart.
The verses of the year:

"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.

2007-04-12T19:50:00.001-07:00

I am not, but I know the I AM

EASTER

2007-04-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

My favorite holiday. EASTER. What makes me so excited is to be able to gather with fellow believers on a Sunday morning and rejoice with each other because of God's great love and grace we are now able to be sons and daughters of the living God. What Jesus did on that cross is amazing and i hope I never lose sight of that, but even more important is what happened on Sunday. He rose from the grave . He defeated death. What I think is an awesome thing that our church decided to do this past Sunday, is to have a baptism on Easter. I cannot put into words what I felt. It was so powerful and so exciting. The joy on their faces when they came out of the water. God was present in that place. I could sense the joy on his face seeing his sons and daughters profess through the act of baptism that they choose to serve him with their lives. It was also a time of freedom. I think as a body of believers we felt the freedom and the chains being lifted because of what Christ did on that Sunday so very long ago. We realize how extravagant his love really his and the extreme measures he took to get our attention.

Chicago

2007-04-02T19:15:00.001-07:00

This weekend I was able to head up to the great windy city of Chicago. It was amazing. I LOVE big cities. Chicago is one of the top cities that I love. Of course New York City is my number 1.

Anyway. I went with about 30 girls from the social work department. It was a weekend of cultural diversity and an urban experience. It did not go exactly as planned but it allows for a great story as you will see. We were split into groups of about 4-5 girls and we were dropped off at certain points in the city. Well we were all dropped off in the south side of Chicago. My group gets out of the vans and we start walking. Not even a block later a cop car pulls over and asks us if we know where we are and if we are lost. We say that we are trying to get to the train station to get on the train to go to Fullerton street. Well they were not happy and they told us to get into the car. We were unsure if we should do this but we got in. They started asking us questions and why the f-ing reason we were in that neighborhood. We proceeded to tell them that it was a school trip. They proceeded to cuss out our professor(who was not with us by the way). They then told us that we have to contact every group and let them know where they all were so that they could pick them up. They then dropped us off at the train station and we went to get our tickets. As we were waiting for the train two more cops came and started talking to us. They would not let us get on the train till the other groups showed up. Come to find out that this is so called the murder capital of Chicago and that three people were shot on Tuesday night and we were there on Friday. It was a predominately African American neighborhood. I didn' t realize until after this trip how much race really plays into how people are treated. We then jumped on the train and found our way to the place where we were staying. The rest of the trip was exciting and I learned a lot. We went to Emmaus Ministries , which is a ministry that works with male prostitutes and works to try to get them to change. Their main focus though is to reach out to these guys and to be like a family to them This is an amazing ministry and God is doing great things through this ministry. They really are practicing what they preach. They are the image of Christ. They have the attitude of Christ and are reaching out to the unlovable. It is so awesome. It makes me want to get off my butt and do something. I am so sick of this whole religion thing and how we just hang out with people that dress and act like us. Like there is this certain mold that we have to have. We sit in our nice pews with dressy outfits and call ourselves Christians. There is a world out there that is hurting and needs to see Christ in us. We are called to be barbarian Christians.
We were also able to visit the International Center for Krishna Consciousness which is a branch off of Hindi. It was interesting to see how they worshiped and what they believed. Its amazing that Christianity is embedded into every religion. In many ways they are preaching Christianity and don't even know it. Some of what they believe is not right and is twisted but it was interesting to see it. We may not agree with what they believe but I think that we still need to respect them. I think they know more of the Bible than I do. That should encourage me to become more knowledgeable about the Bible. One of the last things that we did on this trip was A play or musical called Memphis Soul. It was amazing. It was in this little theatre in Uptown Chicago but it was incredible. Their voices were amazing. They did an excellent job.
I learned so much on this trip. I will talk later on what I took away from this trip.
Sorry for such a long post

Trust

2007-03-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

So to be quite honest I am having a hard time being content being single right now. As I have stated in previous posts that i see couples all around campus and it seems that everyone is entering into a dating relationship. I think I try to take this into my own hands because I feel that I must get the best for myself because God may not give it to me. I think that is why I surrender this issue and then pick it back up. It all comes back to trust. I found this quote that I really just want to share. As you can tell I am all about quotes:)

"Ladies, God gives you the choice between his plans and yours. In the midst of her circumstances Ruth could not have possibly seen that a man like Boaz would one day be her prince. Neither can you with your limited perspective so who or where your prince will be. Only God has all things in view. Are you trying to control your own life? Are you making plans for your life that only God should make? Don't settle for less than God's best. Surrender the terrible burdon of always needing life on your terms. Don't look back one day and regret that you made your life mate choice from a limited perspective because you longed for the security of a relationship. God can and will give you his best if you wait for it."

2007-03-26T18:09:00.001-07:00

Wow! It has been a month since I have updated. So much has happened since that time. The school year is coming to a close. I can't believe that in a couple of months I will be 21 and a junior in college. Time seems to just fly by. Two more years and I will be out on my own. To be quite honest that scares me to death, but I know that God is in control. This past weekend I went and watched Fiddler on the Roof which was presented by the drama team here at Indiana Wesleyan. It was a great play. They did an awesome job. Yesterday I was able to play tennis for the first time this spring. It was so nice to get back out on the courts. It was so great to see so many people outside yesterday. Spring has finally arrived and that makes me excited. You can just smell it in the air. I love it:) The campus comes alive this time of year. I have been trying to get back in shape and I have been running about 2 miles everyday. I would really like to be running about three by the time school gets out. I don't know if I will make it or not. I am training for a 5-k that will be in my hometown in April. We will see how that all works out. God has been really working in my life. As I walk around campus it seems that there are couples everywhere. It has been really hard for me and so many times I find myself so discontent at where I am at and God just gently tapes me on the shoulder and tells me that he is enough and that i need to love him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. He needs to be the love of my life. I am not ready to date until I am content not dating. Along with just realizing how much I need to focus on Christ as the love of my life, I have this desire to be a woman of grace and humility. My prayer the past month has been

"may I be a woman who wears the crown of beauty. One who is not haughty. May I not be pretentious. I desire to be thankful and lovely and peaceful. Being pursued and embraced by God while going through the fire. May I walk with my head held high yet my heart bowed low in reverence. May I speak with the wisdom of one who has participated in the mercy of God, instead of the rambling words that come from those who have only read about him. God may I ache for the lost and rejoice with the found. Cry with the sinners and celebrate with the forgiven. I don't want to walk in perfection but in confidence. May I stand in the dark until you God come to my rescue. I desire to jump form the platform of my dreams into your strong arms underneath. May I come to know more and more of the depths of your great love. God may I truly know my weaknesses so that I am not appalled by the weaknesses of others. I want to be the woman I begin to think and feel and give like the King of Heaven. May I be an oak of righteousness, a radient display of your splendor. "

Jokes

2007-02-27T14:31:00.000-08:00

Here are some jokes that I found to be quite humorous

Yo mama is so ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out with an application.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 2
0. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September
.83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

?'s

2007-02-19T16:55:00.001-08:00

What does it mean to be the Church?
What is the Church supposed to look like?
What does community look like?
What is authenticity look like?
What if God's people prayed?
What if we went beyond the surface in our relationships?
What if we served the least of these?
What if we dreamt big?
What if revival started in the hearts of college students?
What if we would stop placing God in a box?
What if IWU students had a heart for the people of Marion IN?
What if we had enough faith to see heaven on Earth?
What if I surrendered everything to God?
What if we would look past outward appearance?
What if we stepped out of the boat?

I think something that we can't even begin to imagine would start to take p.lace

Check this out. Please read some of these stories http://www.marshill.org/stories.php. Just click on the pictures

God is bigger than my world. There is something big happening and I want to be a part of it.
I sense a stirring in my spirit. Something big is happening inside of me and I don't know how to put it into words.

Two statements that I cannot get out of my head

"Allowing God to have and use us is basic to legacy living. No one lives to himself. What we do with what we've got will determine what we get."

***God is more interested in our availability than our ability***

Heaven is Here and Now

2007-01-17T09:40:00.000-08:00

I am reading the book Velvet Elvis and it is radically changing my view on Christianity and how I view God. God is showing me truth that is relevent to me today. It puts awe inside of me when I think about my savior and what he has done for me. I want to share a little from the book. I hope everyone reads this book.

So this reality, this forgiveness, this reconciliation, is true for everybody. Paul insisted that when Jesus died on the cross, he was reconciling all things in heaven and on earth to God. All things everywhere. This reality then isn't something we make true about ourselves by doing something. It is already true. Our choice is to live in this new reality or cling to a reality of our own making
God is retelling each of our stories in Jesus. All the bad parts and the ugly parts and the parts we want to pretend never happened are redeemed. They seemed pointless and they were painful at the time, but God retells our story and they become the moments when God's grace is most on display. We find ourselves asking, am i really forgiven of that? The fact that we are loved and accepted and forgiven in spite of everything we have done is simply too good to be true. Our choice becomes this, We can trust his retelling of the story, or we can trust our telling of our story. It is a choice we make every day about the reality we are going to live in
And this reality extends beyond this life
Heaven is full of forgiven people
Hell is full of forgiven people
Heaven is full of people God loves, whom Jesus died for
Hell is full of people God loves, whom Jesus died for
The difference is how we chose to live, which story we choose to live in which version of reality we trust. Ours or God's
When we chose God's version of who we are, we are living as God made us to live. We are living in the flow of how we are going to live forever. This is the life of heaven, here and now. As we life this life in harmony with God's intentions ofr us, the life of heaven becomes more and more present in our lives. Heaven comes to Earth. That is why Jesus teaches his disciples to pray "May your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven". There is this place, this realm, heaven where things are as God desires them to be. As we live this way, heaven comes here. To this place, this world, the one we are living in.
WOW! This changes how I live my life. It is how we live now that determines how we will live in eternity. It is just a continuation. That is amazing. That really challenged me to realize that I am forgiven, and that I can have an identity in Christ and that heaven can be lived here on earth because God made me a new creation. The old is gone and the new has come.

2007-01-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine wrote this but I think it describes perfectly how I am feeling.

"For months I have been carrying around a deep longing in my heart. But everytime I examine it, I walk away unable to put into words. The ach fills me and I constantly feel it, but I cannot define it.
I ache for something that cannot be put into words. I ache for the touch of my creator. I ache for someone who is beyond words. My spirit cries for his spirit as deep calls out to deep. I cannot define my longing, it is not quantifiable or measurable and only the infinite and immeasurable can understand it and fill it."

2007-01-12T14:48:00.000-08:00

A new year has begun. I am finished with my first week of classes and I am overwelmed. Welcome to college life Beth Burkey. I have realized that I have been really blessed the past year and a half because the work load was not that hard. Well that is about ready to change. I don't know how I will get through it but it will only be by God's great grace.

I also just found out that I have been accepted into the social work program at IWU. I am really excited. I have found the major where God wants me. I don't know what he wants me to do with my degree but he will reveal that in his time. In the meantime I will trust him and allow him to guide and direct me on the path that he wants me to walk down. He is teaching me so much. If I could sum up my life in a couple of sentences it would be: God has placed a holy discontentment in my heart for where i am at in my walk with him. I desire to step away from religion and to step into the unknown realm where Jesus lives. I desire to be a disciple of his. I desire a pure and authentic relationship with Jesus Christ. I desire to use the passions, talents and abilities that God has given me to impact the lives of those in need whether that be children that have been abused, neglected or sexually abused; young teen mothers that don't know where to turn, through the little sister i have through the big brothers, big sisters program, through taking a leadership role as a mentor in the new dorm on campus. I don't know exactly where but i have a passion for people.

He has also given me a passion for children that have been abused and for women dealing with domestic abuse. This is where my volunteer work is leading me and I cannot wait to see what God is going to do in this semester. I really would like to volunteer at an organization in Marion called Hands of Hope.

I read these statics and they amazed me. Things need to change and it is making me step into action to try to do something about it.

These statistics come from David Livermore's book Serving with Eyes Wide Open. The research supported these stats is well documented by the book.)
Population:
Every second, 4 babies are born. In the time that it's taken you to read the beginning of this post, around 60 newborns entered this story.
More than twice as many people are born each day than die.
There are 6.5 billion people in the world today.
20% live in China.
20% live in India.
5% live in the U.S.
55% throughout the other nations of the world.
Line up the 6.5 billion in a single file line, and it would wrap around the globe 110 times.
Nearly half the people in the world today are children, as compared to 20% of Americans are under age 15.
Poverty:
20% of the world live on one dollar a day.
Another 20% live on two dollars a day.
20% live on $70 a day.
The other 40% are somewhere in between.
The combined income of the 447 wealthiest people in the world is more than the combined income of 50% of the world's population (3.25 billion).
Americans (5% of the world) consume 50% of the worlds resources.Health:
30,000 people will die today because of preventable disease.
40% of the world today lacks basic sanitation facilities.
One billion people have unsafe drinking water.Displaced People:
More than 12 million people have been forced out of their native land (refugees).
Another 24 million have fled conflict and/or persecution and are displaced within their own country.