Reflections of Senior Year!

I had my last class for the semester and went to my last chapel for my college career. It made me think back on this past semester. It was a semester filled with ups and downs. As I reflect back here are some highlights
* Had the opportunity to be at a Notre Dame game where they won
* Went to see NeedtoBreathe, Andy Davis, Jon Mclaughlin
* All the memeories with the girls in apartment B, where to begin? There are so many

Here are some of the pictures from the semester

Relationships

"And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
-The Holiday-

I just wish this wasn't so true with my life.

Beauty from Pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When like before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
and see how you've brought beauty from ashes
and made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
and there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain.

Beauty from Pain by Superchicks.

Exciting

So it is amazing how songs can express exactly what you want to say and how you feel. This is an amaing new song from nickelback. I am so excited that they have a new record coming out.

Vulnerable, full of questions and doubt

Still waters, heavy hearts. Plans I make all fall apart. Disillusioned and lost in the gray. How can I fix the heart when it breaks? Don't know how much more I can take. Just give it time.It's gonna get better. Now is not forever at all. Just give it time. Everything changes. Tomorrow comes today will be gone. Everything's gonna be alright. Just give it time, give it time. Quiet landslide when nobody knows. Regretted decisions that nobody chose. Under water and sinking fast. No way out, no way to get back. What might have been is lost in the past. When the world I'm in is still again
And it all fades out. I've reached the end, begin again now. Everything's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright. Just give it time.

They say that time heals all wounds, but when you are going through those hard times it is hard to cling to that. It is hard when you cry out to God and all you hear is silence. I don't understand why God allows things to happen. I don't understand why my mom has cancer, why relationships fail, why rejection hurts so bad, why a man would think it would be ok to rape one of my friends or why a little girl is taken from her mother who loves her more than life or why a mother dies at such a young age leaving behind two kids and a husband. Silence can be deafening.

In the midst of the brokenness, I know that God has a plan and all i can see are the small pieces of a large puzzle. This verse makes me angry at God but at the same time it is reassuring. Deep down I know that he is control. He has our best interests in mind. And so I will take each day one at a time. I will learn to laugh again, I will learn to love myself again. I will learn to lean on my heavenly father. I will look in the mirror and see myself through God's eyes. I have a father who loves me the way I am and I am good enough for him.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

AMAZING

Amazing that is all i can say!

I love this man!

Excited

I went to a meeting on Sunday night where I got to see the church becoming the church and it excites me. I see leaders and ordinary people joining together to do what God has called us all along to do and that is to help those in need financially, physically and spiritually.

"But we live in a world that has lost its appreciation for small things. We live in a world that wants things bigger and bigger. We want to supersize our fries, sodas and church buildings. But amid all the supersizing, many of us feel God is doing something new, something small and subtle. This thing Jesus called the kingdom of God is emerging across the globe in the most unexpected places, a gentle wisper amid the chaos. Little people with big dreams are reimaging the world. Little movements of communities of ordinary radicals are committed to doing small things with great love."

Whatever you are doing

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...


Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Setting Sail

"It seems stupid to fight God. Yet I do it more often than I care to admit. God nudges me to pray more, give more, help more, be more. These are all things that I strongly believe in but I find reasons not to do them- good, respectable, solid reasons. I want to walk the edges and borders that put me face-to-face with God but my feet tend to keep the well-trod path of everyday life. I rarely move into uncharted territory unless it is well though out, so as to minimize the risks yet to move beyond the middle, away from the broad road, starts with a willingess to step out of the status quo, to risk, to stretch, to be uncomfortable. Daily I struggle to let go of all that is safe, comfortable and reasonable. At times this seems risky and challenging. Yet it is only at the edge that I can drink from the water of life and fall into the hands of God. In Spain, after Columbus discovered the new world coins were created bearing the Latin slogan, Plus Ultra which means "more beyond". All I need to do is sail forward wit the excitement and anticipation that there is truly more beyond."

I was listening to a song while I was out on my run and it reminded me this idea that I need to start living and setting sail. I need to stop worrying what other people think and how they view me but I need to starty worrying what God thinks of me. Here is my anthem for this summer.

Caught in the half-light, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tied up, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life

Here is a video that one of the girls from the team made which shows our trip to cambodia. She did an amazing job. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Home Again

I am back from Cambodia! How i miss that place! I love the people and I love the culture! I want to go back! There are so many things that I want to talk about so I am sure that there will be many posts to come with numerous pictures. God is alive and at work in this amazing country. But on a lighter note I have a poem that I would like to share.

All This and More in Cambodia
by: Jewel Reed
I don’t understand how Vandy is a man.
Or how 23 people could fit in one van.
Why did our Kratie hotel toilet throw poop
and why did the American people say they were a Singapore group?
Why is there mold on Melanie’s toothbrush
and why does our toilet never flush?
Why do Karen and Jewel laugh at everything?
Seriously, do we really have to sing?
You have never lived until you have seen Arun make pb and jelly.
You have never lived until youhave been to the market so smelly.
I cannot believe that I ate a whole frog,
or that Tiffany almost hit a van in a huge traffic clog.
Does Whitney’s dad really work for a print shop?
Shouldn’t all moto drivers know the word ’stop?’
Have you ever heard ”Everything but the kitchen sink?”
Did you know that Titos likes pink?
Have you ever sang a song with Song?
Have you ever been stuck in mud for two hours long?
Why does Som On laugh like a goat
and why did we go on a dolphin cruise in a janky little boat?
Can you believe that Juns in the mafia with Whitney’s dad
and why does Pholla speak English so bad?
I am so glad no one saw me slip on the stair,
but I am more glad that everyone saw Melanie break a chair.
Why does Noel not like children and games?
How do you pronounce all these Khmer names?
Did you see all the Post-Its on Beth’s face?
Maybe we should try to sing Amazing Grace.
Well, Kristens a doctor, won’t she know what to do?
There’s a really big bug, do you have a big shoe?
Why did Pastor Jun give his daughter a bird black and blue?
It died in our van and I think we all might have bird flu.
She had it on a string, swung it around her head.
No one is surprised that Jairah’s diseased bird is dead.
Did you hear that Tim wore a little grass skirt?
Did I tell you that our bus driver is a little flirt?
Have you seen Vandy sit in the fridge at night?
Have you seen Chamnol dance on the bed? It’s quite a sight.
Last night there was a gecko on Karen and EVERYONE heard Jewel scream.
For breakfast every morn, the Khmer have rice and the team - iced coffee with cream

Cambodia

So this is where I will be spending a month of my life! I can't believe that one of my dreams has come true. I have always wanted to visit cambodia. I am starting to pack and it is all hitting me. In three days I will be walking the streets of Phenom Pen. Wow! God sure is amazing! Please pray that God will do a work in and through the team. Pray for strength; spirituall, physical and emotional. May we be salt and light to a country that is hurting and searching for truth. May we be effective communicatiors.

Senior

I am officially a senior in college with my first apartment! I can't believe it. One more year and then real life begins. There is excitement, anticipation yet a little apprehension.

Something to Ponder

We stand in awe of the ocean,
the thunderstorm
the sunset
the mountains
but we pass by
a human being
without notice
even though
the person is
God's most magnificent creation

St. Augustine

Grant County Rescue Mission

This is the place that I have been volunteering the past couple of months. I have come to love going to this place. I love to hear the stories of these men and what they have went through and how much they have changed.

God has asked me to consider the homeless men, women and children, to remember that each one has a different reason as to why he or she is in that situation. They may have been rejected by family, abused physically or sexually, discarded by schools and society because of learning disorders or physical impairments, laid off work, or may have made wrong choices. However, each person is someone’s daughter,son,a loved one who is lost and hurting. Most importantly, I need to realize God loves each man, woman and child and desires to have a personal relationship with them.

I have a whole new perspective on this ministry and the people that they serve. God has allowed me to see past the outside and to really get to know these people. These are his son's and daughters and he loves them with a love that is everlasting. I love the mission statement and desire of the mission. They say our challenge is to reach each one today… with tangible help and a message of hope for a better tomorrow. We can scream in their ear all day long about Christ but instead we can serve them a meal and they can see God in action in a very tangible and real way. Jesus spoke through actions.

A Call to the Church

Check out this video: theiheartrevolution trailer 2



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Random Ranblings

So i am sitting here at my cube in the office and I am looking around and noticing how boring it looks and that I need to add some pictures. It needs a special touch. I am also beginning to realize that my computer has to be the slowest dang computer in the office. I am writing on here and not doing my work which might not be the best idea. I am beginning to wonder what is the point to the work that I do. I have been sitting here for 4 hours pressing the route forward key! What is that doing? What meaning does that really have? They are paying me to sit at my computer and press one button for 4 continuous hours. WOW! In the process I am learning some very random facts such as the estimated income for adult students going to IWU is about 30,000. It is much less than I expected. Hmm! I am learning some very intersting names of individuals and laughing hysterically in my head because what parent would come up with some of those names. Childhood must have been traumatic.
I am beginning to realize that I could not do this for the rest of my life. I can't even see what it is like outside. I heard through the grapevine that it is raining. I will find out when I leave this place in exactly 20 min and counting.
So needless to say in the midst of my rambling is that a desk job is not my calling. It pays the bills for now but I want something more. I want to know what I am doing is really making a difference.

Must Watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m75g_A731q0

Destiny

"My destiny is to worship God."

I would always ask God what my destiny was. What was that one thing that I would always be remembered by. What significant contribution would I bring to society? I always wanted to have this great life marked by amazing stories and to be well known because of something great that I did for God. I realized though that I have it all backwards. All God asks of me is to worship him daily. My destiny is to worship God and through that he will use me. My destiny is not to become someone great but to show others how great God is. All I have to do is continually worship and honor the one that gave his all so that I could live and through that I will be living out my destiny

Christian Pick-up lines

So these made me laugh! I hope you guys enjoy them:)

Christian pick-up lines
1. Nice Bible.
2. I would like to pray with you.
3. You know Jesus? Me too.
4. God told me to come talk to you.
5. I know a church where we could go and talk.
6. How about a hug, sister?
7. Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
8. Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug.
9. Oh you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11
10. Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
11. What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study?
12. I am here for you.
13. The Word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry," How about dinner?
14. You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
15. Do you want to come over and watch the Ten Commandments tonight?
16. Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
17. Would you happen to know a Christian woman (man) that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
18. Nice bracelet. What would Jesus date? I mean 'do'.
19. Do you believe in Divine appointment?
20. Have you ever tried praying at a drive-in movie before?
21. Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
22. My friend told me to come and meet you. He said that you are a really nice person. I think you know Him. Jesus, yeah, that's His name.
23. You know they say that you have never really dated until you have dated a Christian.
24. Yeah, I predicted David over Goliath

Justice

"The ordinary Christian gets emotional. The deeply committed Christian gets involved." K.G. McMillan

"To be saved costs us nothing, to be a disciple costs us everything."

"see the world is a place made up of places.. and every place has a history.. and every place's history is reflected in what becomes it's culture.. and culture itself is defined through its people.. and the people; well, they are the future… and the future is now..so then - looking at it in the same light but from the other side of the room; at this moment in history, we are the people in the places.. and we are the ones defining cultures.. and we are the ones creating history.. and so the question must be asked…. If we are the future; how's it gonna look..??I don't know about you.. but if our generation is remembered for ipods, myspace, and youtube we missed it.. if history speaks of our generation as self indulgent pioneers of the digital age, reality television and purpose built celebrity we'll have failed.. the world will change by itself.. for better or for worse.. it changes daily.. but who will be the ones to shape it.. and how will it look?in and of itself revolution is neither good or bad.. revolution represents change.. a shift in culture.. History is marked by revolutions.. social and political.. some have represented victory, freedom and justice, however on the flip-side.. too many have become infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice.. all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.. for the church – the hands and feet of Jesus and His plan for the salvation of this big, broken sphere of dirt, water and life we temporarily call home, this has never sounded with more urgency.. it's time for a revolution.. fuelled by a dissatisfaction with self-centred living and complacent faith.. driven by a desire for truth, love and justice..that's what this is all about…every generation needs a revolution.. and this one needs to look, sound, walk and breathe like love..it's not a new concept.. it's an eternal concept.. it's the reason we are alive.. it's the fundemental call of what it means to be a follower of Christ..Love God.. love people.. that's it.. that's the revolution.. revolutionary I know.. but if we understand what that means.. if we get it.. if we establish in our thinking how that looks.. and we start living it.. we will change the world.. it's not so much about the big stuff.. it's just about the stuff.. it's about the people in the places being the answer - in the places.. and together; becoming the answer to the big stuff.. it's about your backyard.. it's about my backyard..The world has watered love down to slogans and t-shirts.. lollipop pop songs and popcorn munching excursions in visual indulgence... all of which are fine.. but we throw the word around.. we confuse it's definition.. we diminish our understanding of God's command.. love is the quintessential human emotion.. it is the desire of every human being to experience, and in turn express love.. and God himself IS love.. and he desires to be loved.. and who are the carriers of His spirit..?? it's us…So that's the call.. that's the mission.. that's what this is all about..A generation expressing their worship; moreso expressing their heart for worship in the action of love.. toward God.. and toward the world we live in.. and the people who inhabit it.. it's not about highlighting the darkness.. it's about becoming the light that diminishes the darkness.. it's the gospel.. and it is now..we're all in this together.."

Joel Houston

Amazing

Something happened this week!

GOD SHOWED UP!

I CAN DREAM BIG AGAIN!

VISIONS AND DREAMS ARE BECOMING REALITY

I AM NOT AFRAID OR SCARED OF DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD

PURPOSE IS STIRRING INSIDE OF ME

WATCH OUT FOR GOD: HE APPEARS IN THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT HIM

THE BIBLE CAME TO LIFE

So what does it look like when God shows up? It is something that is earthshattering, knee knocking, and teeth chattering. It is beyond anything that you can imagine. It is hearing thousands of college students praising in authentic worship of their Lord and Savior. It shouting for worship to not stop. Worship that is from the heart and not for show. Authenticity is displayed through the faces of brothers and sisters in Christ. It is taking what we have learned and applying it after the mountaintop experience is over when we go back down the mountain and continue with our everyday life. It is something that leaves you in awe and breathless of who God is. It is about reconciliation with God and with others. It is all about realizing that God created each one of us and has a purpose for each one of us. It is about the realization that it is not about who we are but whose we are.

I'm In Love

I'm in love. I want to shout it from the rooftops. It has been a long road. A road filled with steep hills, curves and potholes but through it I have come to appreciate life so much more and the person that has come into my life. He is someone that I have known all my life but never fully knew. I knew him from a distance. I saw how he interacted with everyone else and how he was so kind and gentle but at the same time he was firm when he needed to be. I always secretly wanted him to focus on me and to show me attention and love me. There was so many times that I wondered if it would ever happen to me. If I would ever find that someone who I could fall in love with. Someone that I wanted to tell everyone about and that I could show everyone. Because of him I love to get up in the morning and it has changed how I view life. I don't deserve him yet he makes me feel like I am so beautiful and special. He loves and respects me for who I am. He is by my side through everything:good or bad. He is caring and a great listener. He lets me vent to him and doesn't say a word till I am finished. I feel that I can tell him anything. He speaks truth into my life. He tells me things that I need to hear and not just what I want to hear. He puts up with all my strange moods that I go through. I can't put into words how I feel except that I feel loved and cherished beyond anything that I have ever felt. Who is this amazing peson. His name is Jesus. I never knew that I could know him like I do and to have the intimacy that I beginning to experience with him. He is my everything.